Category Archives: Freedom from Sin

Biblical Eroticism

Love and sexuality can be a source of great joy or deep grief and pain. As children become adults and discover their sexuality, and as couples move into marriage and seek to understand each other, it is imperative that they have guidance in this area of life that is so crucial to psychological adjustment. The Bible itself would be incomplete if it only spoke of sexuality in terms of prohibitions and did not give positive instruction to enable the reader to discover the joy of healthy love. (Garrett, D. A. (1993). Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs (Vol. 14, pp. 367–368). Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers.)

One of the core, foundational truths of running a business that God has entrusted to us is that our personal sanctification has a direct impact the financial success of our business and our ability to fulfill God’s purposes for business (Products, Passions, Profit and Philanthropy). I’ve discussed 2 Chronicles 7.14 on this site, which is the context in which I write this post. When we live with private sin, God is unable to bless us in our business. Whatever success we might have is muted compared to what God could have done had we been living righteously before Him.

The consumption of pornography by Christians is well-documented (other examples are here, here, here and here) . None of us, including myself, are immune from pornographic temptations and failings. Nearly all men and a growing number of women consume pornography on a consistent basis. Along with a lack of tithing, over-eating (gluttony), materialism and a near addiction to comfort and convenience, American Christians are weaker and less available for powerful ministry because of our consumption of pornography.

Hence, I’m going to discuss the Bible’s view of eroticism by contrasting the deceptions of pornography and the truths of Biblical eroticism presented in the Song of Songs. It is my belief that Scripture can cleanse our minds, which is one way we are transformed (Romans 12.1-2). If we can cleanse our minds and hearts through the transforming power of the Scriptures and the Holy Spirit, then we can live righteously before God and God can start blessing us again and bring us out from beneath the curses we bring on ourselves.

We need Christian Business Owners to be living in righteousness if we’re ever going to see revival in the United States.

So, we’re going to look at how love, sensuality (pursuit of sexual pleasure), eroticism (arousing sexual desire) and sex are portrayed in the Song of Solomon and contrast that with how those elements are portrayed in pornography. This will not be an exhaustive study, but one limited to several prominent themes in The Song of Solomon.

The Deceptions of Pornography

I will assert that most Christians us pornographic constructs to discuss sex and sensuality. I say this because I would suspect that most Christians equate the words “sensuality” and/or “eroticism” with the word “sin”. But the Bible has a positive view of sensuality and eroticism when certain conditions are met. But first, let’s look at the common and pervasive decisions of pornography.

By the way, pornography degrades women (here too). Behind all of these deceptions is a trail of human female debris that is undeniable. Happily, Christ can redeem us all from any sin (here, here, here and here as examples). In pornography, women are objectified and valued only for their body parts. They are dehumanized and are treated as animals. They are not equal to men in any way and should not be viewed as equals. Some will disagree, but I don’t see how women are elevated and esteemed in pornography. I really don’t.

Deception #1: Your Deepest Fulfillment in Life is to Experience Hot Sex with Intense Orgasms

Pornography teaches that the orgasm experience is the highest thrill a person can have. It teaches that the best sex is entirely physical and focused on achieving an orgasm. This is best experienced when you’re performing with another person who passionately pursues sex and orgasms. While some experiences are thought to be better than an orgasm, pornography teaches that the end goal and the ultimate sexual experience is an orgasm. There is hardly a pornographic video that doesn’t end with the orgasm. The meta-message is clear: one you orgasm, you’ve experienced it all and it’s time to quit (or try again, see below).

Deception #2: Marriage Ties You Down: One Person Can’t meet all Your Needs

If your spouse doesn’t have a high level of need for sex, then consider augmenting your marriage with other partners. Swingers (here too) are those who are (usually) married but have agreements where both spouses can “hook up” for sex with one or more partners to make sure all of their needs are satisfied. They usually have detailed agreements and rules that must be followed, but the outcome is this: getting your “needs” met through multiple partners. The assumption is that the full enjoyment of sex cannot possibly happen with only one person for an entire lifetime. Swingers are usually cautious people and often become friends first. Open marriages are thought to be successful only when they are strong marriages to begin with (here and here). But over time, swinging can kill relations too.

The Bible teaches the opposite, as we’ll see in a moment.

Deception #3: Marriage will Kill Hot Sex

In many instances, pornography will teach that if you want hot sex, then don’t get married. There are few, if any, pornographic videos or images that are shot within the context of marriage unless the wife is being shared with other men. It’s the violation of traditional marriage vows that makes it titillating and arousing.

You see, in a normal marriage, women are not always ready for sex and they usually don’t want to share their husbands – ever. But in pornography, they are always ready. In the real world, women want more than sex – they want love and commitment. But pornography teaches men to only want sex. Don’t get entangled with emotions and relationships – that will only tie you down.

This deception – that marriage is a constraint of great sex and romance – is causing some to rethink why love and marriage are even connected. Esther Perel (pictured), noted speaker on erotic intelligence (seriously?) and author of Mating in Captivity, proffers that monogamy and love don’t necessarily have anything to do with each other—and that it’s not always unhappily married people who cheat. Happy people cheat, too, she finds. Monogamy used to mean one person for life. Today, we define monogamy as one person at a time (citation) [emphasis added]. As Hugh Hefner
said in 2007, “One of the great ironies in our society is that we celebrate freedom and then limit the parts of life where we should be most free.”

We’ll learn in a moment that the Bible teaches that the best sex is found within the context of marriage – a concept that is totally foreign to those in the pornographic industry and laughable to many in America today.

Deception #4: Happiness is found with Multiple Partners

Pornography preaches a philosophy of no commitment: there is no commitment in pornographic thinking. In some ways, it’s really a distancing technique: you can have my body but not my real self. The core of who I am doesn’t get shared with anyone and so those living with porn tend to be emotionally isolated and disconnected. It concerns itself only with the body. Emotional, mental or spiritual intimacy isn’t even considered in pornographic philosophies:

“What is most surprising about the debates that surround pornography is how much the various sides agree upon. Pornography is banal, predictable, convoluted, and fundamentally impoverished intellectually. Rarely would a sex-positive academic or practitioner of pornography dispute this.” (The Philosophy of Pornography: Contemporary Perspectives (p. 199). Rowman & Littlefield Publishers. Kindle Edition.)

No relationship commitments mean that you can have sex with as many partners as you wish – the more, the better is what we’re taught. The king of pornography, Hugh Hefner is thought to have had sex with over 3000 women – probably not as many as Solomon did – but still, a number that boggles the mind. Holly Madison is quoted in Cosmopolitan:

Q: Can you quantify how many girls went through that revolving door?
A: Oh my god, while I was there, no, I couldn’t even. I’d have to sit down and count how many went out and make an average, there were so many.

Was Hefner really happy? It seems he probably was empty on the inside. His addiction to pot and alcohol, his controlling behavior and his addiction to pot and alcohol point to a guy who was not happy, not fulfilled but rather in bondage to these things (here). Time Magazine wrote:

Hefner did terrible things, and got rich off of them. But it’s still hard not to feel a little bit sorry for a man so clearly uncomfortable with himself that he built an empire on a commodified and empty casing of male sexual desire, a man who threw legendary parties to bond with other men over bikini-clad women, and who paid beautiful women to live in his house and have sex with him so he wouldn’t have to be alone. He was a man who didn’t even believe his “girlfriends” would come home at the end of the day if he didn’t make a rule. If Hugh Hefner wasn’t Hef, the founder of Playboy — if he was just Hugh Hefner, the man – all of the things he confused with love would have never come to him. Not the sex, not the girls, not even the men he considered friends.

He built an empire on male desire, but never seems to have been truly desired himself. He sold a new kind of masculine aspiration, of which he was the paradigm. It was the women he claimed to love who bore most of the cost, but now it’s easy to see the price he paid, too, the things a callow and shallow little man will trade for some time in the spotlight next to a blonde with a great rack. How fitting that, in death, Hef doesn’t evoke hope or ambition, but that simplest and most patronizing of emotions: Pity.

Deception #5: Sex is Natural, so it can’t be a Moral Issue

Sex is all “natural”, the porn industry will say. It is only concerned with titillation and physical resolution. And since it is a natural, amoral act, after there is an orgasm, the only thing left to do is to do it all over again. Rinse and repeat.

Porn leaves us with not only with no connection between our physical bodies and the rest of our being, but a difficulty in integration of our bodies and souls after pornography is consumed. Dan Gray (LCSW, CSAT) writes:

“Pornography compulsion or obsession has a huge negative impact on relationships. As humans, we are wired to have relationships and build connections with others. We need the social interaction and sense of community, not the fake intimacy that pornography provides. The more people become hooked to pornography, the more they start missing out on building those connections.”

Porn leaves you wanting more and more to the point of total dissatisfaction. Some question if you can become addicted, but the scores of testimonies to porn addictions and their difficulties in overcoming their addiction cannot be ignored.

To sum up, the deceptions of pornography include:

  • Your deepest fulfillment in life is found in an orgasm
  • One person cannot possibly meet all of your sexual needs
  • Marriage will kill great sex
  • Happiness is found in multiple partners
  • Sex is natural, so it can’t be a moral issue

Truths of Biblical Eroticism Presented in the Song of Solomon

The Bible gives us truth that we can count on. Take it to the bank. The Biblical eroticism presented in the Song of Songs is exactly the opposite of the deceptions offered by pornography. Let’s learn what the Song of Solomon teaches.

Truth #1: Only Deep Intimacy is Expressed Physically

Biblical eroticism involves the whole of the person – mental, emotional, spiritual and physical. While you can experience the physical response of orgasm in a passing relationship, you cannot enjoy fully the other person or give yourself fully without the full commitment of marriage. When sex is combined with deep commitment and the safety of full acceptance by the other party, then the experience is satisfying beyond measure. It is the sharing and acceptance of the entire person within marriage that turbo-charges the physical sensualities. Pornography kills all of this.

Great sex is found within the context of marriage. Interestingly enough, one of the most comprehensive studies on the subject of sexual frequency was released in 2010 by the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University. Their study compiled statistics on sexual attitudes and habits of 5,865 people between ages 14 and 94. An average of 61 percent of singles reported that they hadn’t had sex within the past year, compared with 18 percent of married people. Looking specifically at those between the ages of 25 and 59, 25 percent of married people reported that they were still having sex two to three times per week versus less than five percent of singles. The University of Indiana found what the Bible has taught for centuries: get married if you want to enjoy great sex.

Throughout the Song of Solomon, we find one young man with one young woman entering into marriage and consummating their emotional and mental intimacy with physical intimacy. We don’t find the Daughters of Jerusalem entering into their most private moment or his friends coming to join the couple on their wedding night.

Truth #2: Man and Woman are Equals

The Song of Songs (1.2-4) opens with these verses:

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—

for your love is more delightful than wine.

Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;

your name is like perfume poured out.

No wonder the young women love you!

Take me away with you—let us hurry!

Let the king bring me into his chambers

What we immediately notice is that the woman speaks first and sees herself as an equal to her man. In that time period, that was unusual. She’s not primarily focused on how she’s going to service her future husband or how he will service her, but instead on enjoying him physically. The Song of Songs is filled with innuendo and indirect references; using analogies to reference the physical delights is common in this book. But make no mistake – throughout this book, the woman and the man are equals in every aspect – physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Truth #3: Self-Control and Delayed Gratification are Essential to Enjoying the Act of Marriage

Three times in the Song of Songs we see this phrase: “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (2.7, 3.5 and 8.4):

2.7: Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you

by the gazelles and by the does of the field:

Do not arouse or awaken love

until it so desires

3.5: Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you

by the gazelles and by the does of the field:

Do not arouse or awaken love

until it so desires

8.4: Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you:

Do not arouse or awaken love

until it so desires

The meaning is clear when read within context: The charge is that our sensualities and sexuality should not be aroused until the proper time and person arrives. The natural joy of sexual awakening is ruined by premature experimentation. Delayed gratification leads to deep gratification.

David Elkind wrote a book All Grown Up and No Place to Go. In it, he argues that for many young people, by the time they reach the age of 18, they have already experienced all that life has to offer – including sexual relations. The resulting problems range from common alienation to self-destructive behavior. When life’s most important experiences are experienced at the wrong time and/or with the wrong people, they become experiences that can destroy rather than build or encourage. Sex and sensuality is no exception.

Pornography screams instant gratification. It assumes little self-control. Unfortunately, there is a niche in pornography that glorifies the taking of a girl’s virginity and other “first time” acts. Immediate gratification coupled with the loss of purity is celebrated. Sex while your husband is at work or sex with a virgin is celebrated as an experience all men should have. Just like the movie Taken where Kim Mills, the daughter of Bryan Mills (played by Liam Neeson), is sold to an Arab sheik at a high price because she is a virgin, pornographic producers love to find young virgins and then film them live while their virginity is taken from them, often by men who couldn’t give one rats’ behind about these girls. There is no shame, no sense of appropriate timing and no sense of treating that which is sacred as anything other than purely sensual. No delayed gratification. There is no concern for the long-term effects on the virgin.

Truth #4: Love Persists Even to Death

In Song of Songs 8.6 we read:

Place me like a seal over your heart,

like a seal on your arm;

for love is as strong as death

The love expressed here symbolizes both possession and unbreakable devotion: “Love is as strong as death in the sense that its power cannot be resisted. It never releases those whom it has once seized”. (Garrett, D. A. (1993). Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs (Vol. 14, p. 426). Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers.) The wish expressed here is that the joy of love go on forever. And because their deep love is abiding and strong, their physical attraction and sensualities will persist for the balance of their life together.

Truth #5: We Give All to One Person, not Some to Many

Pornography teaches us that sex without love can be fulfilling, exciting and “hot”. But it is ultimately unfulfilling:

“The thing I noticed the most about having sex with someone I loved for the first time was that there was real humor and happiness involved. Like, we joked and smiled the whole way through. The sex was super satisfying of course but I remember afterward saying ‘that was fun’ and actually feeling joy [emphasis added] instead of worrying about how I’d performed, etc. That was a real shock for me.”

The Song of Songs teaches us that love leads to deep, fulfilling sex and that both can persist for a lifetime. Biblical eroticism is far different from the sensualities we find in modern day pornography. This point is driven home later in Chapter 8.11-12:

Solomon had a vineyard in Baal Hamon;

he let out his vineyard to tenants.

Each was to bring for its fruit

a thousand shekels h of silver.

12 But my own vineyard is mine to give; [emphasis added]

the thousand shekels are for you, Solomon,

and two hundred are for those who tend its fruit


Commentators often note that the thousand shekels Solomon received from his vineyard may be a cryptic reference to his three hundred concubines and seven hundred wives. The larger point is this: the love between a man and a woman is better than the sexual extravagance of Solomon. Biblical eroticism is not found in the plethora of partners, but in the deep love between one man and one woman. And such love cannot be taken, it must be given voluntarily.

This affirmation of exclusivity is expressed earlier on the Song of Songs in 6.2-3:

My beloved has gone down to his garden,

to the beds of spices,

to browse in the gardens

and to gather lilies.

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine;

he browses among the lilies

The browsing in the gardens and the gathering of lilies is metaphorical for the Act of Marriage. It is lovemaking expressed in tender, lovely and pastoral ways. She is affirming that she and her lover belong to each other. She is asserting the exclusiveness of their relationship. It is within this context that she is able to fully give of herself and express it in such beautiful tones. She had earlier invited him “in” (4.16):

Awake, north wind,

and come, south wind!

Blow on my garden,

that its fragrance may spread everywhere.

Let my beloved come into his garden

and taste its choice fruits

In short, this is her invitation to her new husband to consummate their marriage. Again, the use of tender, beautiful word pictures conveys the deep purity and desire they have for each other. Pornography has none of this, no matter how much they gloss it over with words like “love” and “beautiful”. It’s not even close to the same thing.

In summary, Biblical eroticism teaches that

  1. Only deep love and intimacy should be expressed physically
  2. Men and women are equals
  3. Self-control and delayed gratification are essential to fully expressing love in marriage
  4. Love and sensuality persist to death
  5. We give all to one, not some to many

Final Thought

As a final thought, let’s remember that Christians should celebrate the physical enjoyment that marriage provides. While it’s a small part of being married, it is an important part. If you’re caught in the addiction of pornography, consider working with the XXX Church or Covenant Eyes. Getting free of porn and finding wholeness in Christ will free you up to be all that God is calling you to be.

Speech in Proverbs

How we talk – what we say – is a reflection of what is in our hearts and displays our self-control. Luke 6.45 says:

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” Another translation says “…for out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” If you want to know what’s in another person’s heart, just listen to what they say.

Another aspect of our character – self-control – is on full display when we talk (James 3.2)

“We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.”

If you can tame your speech, you’ll be able to keep your whole body in check. But since few of us, if any, keep our whole body in check, it stands to reason that we are sometimes at fault in what we say.

Hence, two core aspects of our personas are on full display when we talk: the quality of our hearts and our self-control. With this in mind, let’s learn about what Proverbs has much to say about our speech. I will apply this to the world of business ownership and Christian Business Owners.

Proverbs 1.20-21

Out in the open wisdom calls aloud,
she raises her voice in the public square;
on top of the wall she cries out,
at the city gate she makes her speech

Wisdom is communicated through speech. We’ll learn that folly is connected with a person who speaks before he thinks. In this verse, we learn that wisdom (which we can have simply by asking God for it in faith – see James 1.5-7) is communicated through speech and that she (the Hebrew word for wisdom (חָכְמוֹת) is a feminine word) is calling out (רנן, lit. to emit a tremulous and stridulous sound) in the public square. In other words, she’ll talk with anyone who will talk with her. In business terms, she’ll work with anyone who will work with her. She is not ashamed of her ideas, insights, observations or conclusions. She knows she is right and yet is not arrogant. She wants to share her wisdom and so she stands in the public square and calls out.

So, the application of this for Christian Business Owners is a question, not a conclusion: Are you listening?

Proverbs 4.24

Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips

In this verse, the Hebrew word for perversity (עִקְּשׁוּת) means the wrong use of something or someone. You’ve taken something intended for a legitimate use and used it for an unintended purpose. The Hebrew word for corrupt (לָזוּת) means a quality of being deceitful and underhanded. Deceit is when you lead someone to believe something is true when it is not. Certainly, not all deceit is sin. For example, most sports include the expectation that the offense will try to deceive the defense in an effort to score. But within the context of sports, deceit (based on the rules of the game) is both expected and applauded when successful. But in life, generally speaking, deceit is sin.

Hence, in our speech, when we take words and use them to lead others to believe something other than what is true, we have both perverted and corrupted our speech.

Now, the fact that our speech might be *legal* (“…it depends on what the meaning of the word “is” is…) doesn’t mean we can engage in perverse or corrupted talk.

The words we choose to use in marketing and sales need to be run through this filter: is our marketing speech perverse and/or corrupted? I think the latter is difficult to maintain in sales and marketing. “We’re number 1” or superlative phrases such as “the best” or superlative words such as “unparalleled” or “unmatched” need to be fully vetted and thought through. The Christian Business Owner should be circumspect in his or her sales and marketing claims. It’s best to be as accurate as possible and lose some sales or market share than to sin.

Finally, note that God hates perverse speech (Proverbs 8.13):

To fear the LORD is to hate evil;
I hate pride and arrogance,
evil behavior and perverse speech

Let’s keep perverse and corrupt talk far from us.

Proverbs 5.3 and 6.4

5.3: For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey,

and her speech is smoother than oil

6:4 keeping you from your neighbor’s wife,
from the smooth talk of a wayward woman

Speech can be seductive an alluring. Nearly all temptation involves either speech or site. In both instances, one gets the impression that simply by the way the woman talks, the man becomes spellbound and loses his moorings to his principles as he is seduced and destroyed by the adulterous woman. A Christian Business Owner needs to be on alert for speech like this.

But it’s not just the adulterous woman again whom we need to be on guard. We need to be aware that most marketing materials are filled with words and phrases designed to get you and I to want their product and buy it (here). So, as a consumer, be aware that “smoother than oil” words are around us all the time and that our emotional responses to sales and marketing pitches need to be submitted to the Lord as we let him evaluate our desires.

It’s my observation that those times when I’ve walked closest with the Lord are the same seasons in which I’ve not wanted to purchase very many things – I was happy and content with what I already had. As I drift from the Lord, I can become more discontent. One of the ways to know if a purchase is wise is to compare it to the characteristics of Godly wisdom in James 3.17-18:

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness

Note that this wisdom is:

  • Pure
  • Peace-loving
  • Considerate
  • Submissive
  • Full of mercy
  • Full of good fruit
  • Impartial
  • Sincere

The alluring speech of the adulterous woman (and most marketing copy today) is anything but these qualities. A Christian Business Owner will walk closely with God and discern between alluring, seductive speech and speech filled with wisdom.

Proverbs 12.6 and 12.13

12.6: The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood,
but the speech of the upright rescues them

12.13: Evildoers are trapped by their sinful talk,
and so the innocent escape trouble

The 12.6 proverb comes as part of a series of proverbs that compares the righteous and the wicked:

“The unity of this collection is indicated in the Hebrew structure. These three proverbs follow a logical progression: the righteous make plans that are just, but the wicked scheme with deceitful counsel (v. 5); the wicked attempt to ambush the righteous with their lies, but the righteous are delivered by their integrity (v. 6); the wicked are totally destroyed, but the righteous stand secure.” (Garrett, D. A. (1993). Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs (Vol. 14, p. 130). Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers.)

The integrity of the righteous saves them from being devoured by the wicked.

We have learned that the Christian Business Owner who is walking with God can spot seductive speech and avoid being injured by the wicked person (adulterous women) who is speaking. We have learned that we can avoid sin by making sure our speech is pure and holy, not perverse and corrupt. But we can’t achieve this from the outsideà in, we need to have our hearts and minds transformed so that our speech reflects what is in our hearts (insideàout). It is the transformed pre-disposition to purity and holiness and the supernatural anointing of the Holy Spirit that will help us see the ambush and avoid it, not because we are smart or clever, but because our pre-disposition to purity and integrity will lead us away from the ambush.

The meaning of 12.13 is a bit more clouded, so Garrett helps us here:

“This collection employs two metaphors of gathering food: hunting with snares (symbolizing the wicked) and laboring to raise crops (symbolizing the righteous). The wicked are always looking for ways to defraud people (v. 12a) but are trapped by their own machinations (v. 13a). The righteous, however, allow their prosperity to grow gradually from deep, strong roots (v. 12b), escape the traps set for them (v. 13b), and see their way of life (“fruit of his lips”) yield a bountiful harvest (v. 14).”

Note that the core idea of the righteous being delivered from the ways of the wicked because they escape the traps set for them by wicked people is repeated. The Christian Business Owner and Business Leader sees potential danger and avoids it.

Proverbs 14.23

All hard work brings a profit,
but mere talk leads only to poverty

The principle that wealth is a reward for diligence is clearly taught here. Elsewhere in Proverbs we’re taught to moderate our hard work (23.4), but here a clear connection is made between wealth creation and hard work. Conversely, if you just sit around and talk about an idea, you won’t create wealth. You must put your talk into action.

Proverbs 20.19

A gossip betrays a confidence;

so avoid anyone who talks too much

The company we keep should reflect who we are in Christ as Christian Business Owners. Those who talk too much end up betraying confidences, so let’s limit our company to those who have self-control and know how to keep confidences.

Proverbs 24.1-2 and 26.23-26

24.1-2: Do not envy the wicked,

do not desire their company;

for their hearts plot violence,

and their lips talk about making trouble

26.23-26: Like a coating of silver dross on earthenware

are fervent lips with an evil heart.

24 Enemies disguise themselves with their lips,

but in their hearts they harbor deceit.

25 Though their speech is charming, do not believe them,

for seven abominations fill their hearts.

26 Their malice may be concealed by deception,

but their wickedness will be exposed in the assembly

The wicked will often have money. Elements of their lives may be attractive to us, such as their power, influence, possessions and so forth. If you listen closely to their speech, they may sometimes talk about making trouble for the other guy. Pay attention to this and then control your desires so that you don’t desire to be with them. The implication here is that spending time with them may likely corrupt your desires as you learn to desire what they desire. Stay away from them. You don’t want to put into your heart what is in their heart.

Notice in the 26.23-26 passage that they disguise (נכר, lit. to be foreign, to estrange, to be strange) themselves with their lips (think about how smooth the adulterous woman’s speech is to seduce and entice a Godly man into her bed) to hide the deceit their harbor in their hearts. Their speech is charming (חנן, lit. to be inclined towards or to show favor to someone), but we are instructed not to believe them.

It will require discernment to not believe them. This passage gives us a hint of what we will see: fervent (דלק, lit. to set on fire, to burn, to hotly pursue) lips. Combined with vs 25, we can learn that they will be “over the top” in their effusive praise and favor toward us. They will compliment us to the point where we feel uncomfortable with their praise and favor. This is your indication that their hearts are likely filled with evil and deceit and that you should stay away from them.

Gossiping

Turning to a topic in Proverbs called gossiping (הלך lit., to go around), Proverbs consistently condemns this type of speech. Here are the verses regarding gossip in Proverbs:

11.13: A gossip betrays a confidence,

but a trustworthy person keeps a secret

16.28: A perverse person stirs up conflict,

and a gossip separates close friends

18.8: The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;

they go down to the inmost parts

20.19: A gossip betrays a confidence;

so avoid anyone who talks too much

26.20: Without wood a fire goes out;

without a gossip a quarrel dies down

26.22: The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;

they go down to the inmost parts

Those who engage in gossip:

  • betray confidences
  • create conflict
  • injure people to the core of who they are
  • separate close friends

All of us have engaged in gossip at one time or another. Gossip should not be characteristic of the Christian Business Owner or a Christian Business Leader.

Summary

In this post, we have learned from Proverbs several points and principles to bear in mind as Christian Business Owners:

  1. What we say and how we say it is a reflection of what is in our hearts
  2. Wisdom is communicated through speech and is available to anyone who wants it. The question is: Are we listening?
  3. We need to keep perverse and corrupt talk far from us
  4. We need to walk with God so that we can discern smooth speech that has deceit and evil behind it
  5. If we just talk and take no action, we’ll not be prosperous
  6. We should avoid associating with a gossip and we should not engage in gossip
  7. Unnecessary flattery means there is an evil intent in the heart of the other person

Bill English
Founder, Bible and Business

Keeping Yourself Pure and Why it Matters

What happens to a Christian Business Owner when he is in bondage to impurity?

Even though the current DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Revision 5) publish by the APA (American Psychiatric Association) does not include sexual addictions as a stand-alone diagnosis (http://www.projectknow.com/research/sex-addiction-effects/), the effects of constant attention to sex and sexual elements in one’s life has devastating effects on a Christian Business Owner’s ability to fulfill his role as a steward of that which God has given to him.

Note: Even though I’m using the male gender in this article, it should be noted that the population of women who are addicted to sex is on the rise. While their numbers dwarf in comparison to the numbers of addicts for males, it is a growing problem that will need to be addressed by the Christian community.

Paraphilia is a word used in this area to describe (also known as sexual perversion and sexual deviation) the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals. Such attraction may be labeled sexual fetishism. The previous version of the DSM (DSM-IV-TR) describes paraphilias as “recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges or behaviors generally involving nonhuman objects, the suffering or humiliation of oneself or one’s partner, or children or other nonconsenting persons that occur over a period of six months” (criterion A), which “cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning” (criterion B).

Note: The DSM-IV-TR names eight specific paraphilic disorders (exhibitionism, fetishism, frotteurism, pedophilia, sexual masochism, sexual sadism, voyeurism, and transvestic fetishism, plus a residual category, paraphilia—not otherwise specified). Criterion B differs for exhibitionism, frotteurism, and pedophilia to include acting on these urges, and for sadism, acting on these urges with a nonconsenting person. Some paraphilias may interfere with the capacity for sexual activity with consenting adult partners. Noe that in the DSM, a paraphilia is not diagnosable as a psychiatric disorder unless it causes distress to the individual or harm to others.

The negative effects of impurity are as follows:

  • Less time spent doing hobbies or hanging out with friends and loved ones.
  • Loss of productivity at work and at home due to the distraction of the sexual addiction.
  • Financial problems related to overspending in an attempt to satisfy the sexual addiction.
  • Loss of employment due to absences, accessing restricted content on the job, workplace sexual harassment, or any other problem related to sexual addiction.
  • Increased chance that substances will be abused.

People who are in bondage to sex and impurity often describe their lives as:

  • Abnormal.
  • Sick.
  • Guilty.
  • Anxious.
  • Ashamed.
  • Regretful.
  • Depressed.
  • Uncomfortable.
  • Numb.
  • Hollow.
  • Empty.

But the relational side-effects are difficult as well:

  • Loss of trust because of lies, deceit, and denial of hurtful things being done.
  • Difficulty in achieving real intimacy, either because of violations of trust that have occurred or because sexual partners are looked at more as objects than as individuals.
  • Failed relationships due to infidelity, lies, or lack of trust.
  • The chance that sexual addiction will lead to legal problems if the behaviors escalate to illegal activities, such as child pornography, soliciting sex, exposing yourself, rape, or any other violation of the law.

So, now that we’ve taken a look at the general effects of bondage to impurity, we need to ask the question with which we started: How does living in bondage to sexual impurity manifest itself in Christian Business Owners? I will suggest that there are five devastating effects:

Lose God’s blessing and start to live under curses (2 Chronicles 7.14)

I have written about 2 Chronicles 7.14 elsewhere on this blog (here, here, here and here), so I won’t repeat myself. Suffice to say that until you repent of your sin and turn away from it, God will not be able to bless you. Instead, you will live under His curses. You don’t want to live under God’s curses.

The larger point, from 2 Chronicles 7.14 is that your “land” (think “my business”) will not be healed (assume your sin is causing problems in your business) until you repent of your sin. Keep living in sin and your business will continue to be unhealthy – sick – diseased and so forth. Your cash flow problems might look like a collection problem, but consider that God is causing your customers to pay late. Your employee problems might look like training and maturity issues, but consider that God is causing enmity to exist between yourself and your employees that cannot be resolved by training courses. It may be that, no matter what you do, your business is deteriorating. You’re living under the confusion, curses and rebuke (Deuteronomy 28.20, 28) that comes from God when we, as Christians, live in sin.

I would suggest you get on your knees and see what sin you have that needs to be confessed before God, repent of your sin, then listen to His voice to see what your next steps are, both in life and in your business.

We lose our strength to discern and fight the spiritual battles that a Steward of God will need to fight

Your business does not belong to you – it belongs to God. Everything we have comes from God. We are merely stewards of that which God has given to us. When we live in sin, we lose our sensibilities (Deuteronomy 28.20, 28) and our arrogance kicks in, causing us to think that we can handle it – we can do it on our own. You know, Samson killed over 1000 men in his defense of Israel, but it took only one woman to bring him down. If you can no longer spot the spiritual battles that you’re in because you’ve lost your spiritual radar due to your own sin, then it will be no wonder that Satan will play you like a puppet. As a business owner, can you discern when you’re in a spiritual battle?

Lose your honor and dignity

Assuming your sin comes to light, you’ll lose your honor and dignity in the company of your church, your personal network and your business network. Is your impurity worth it?

Lose your wealth

You’ll lose your wealth either by spending it on one or more women or by your business deteriorating to the point of bankruptcy. But either way, the Bible promises that you’ll lose your wealth. Just consider the first part of Proverbs 5:

7 Now then, my sons, listen to me; do not turn aside from what I say.

8 Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house,

9 lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel,

10 lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another.

11 At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent.

12 You will say, “How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction!

13 I would not obey my teachers or turn my ear to my instructors.

14 And I was soon in serious trouble in the assembly of God’s people

If you’re in bondage to impurity – then do whatever it takes to get free. Do it today. We recommend using Resolute’s Video series to help you get started.   It’s the only way you can steward your business for God in a way that will be pleasing to Him.

Bill English

2 Chronicles 7.14

This post is only for my Christian brothers and sisters. Seriously – if you’re an atheist, agnostic, or something else, then this post isn’t for you. It’s only for those who see themselves as followers of Jesus Christ.

“if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

In short, this verse links our personal holiness (sanctification) with our success in life. There are four parts (including verse 13):

  • Bad things are happening: the land is bare,  production/growth is lousy and people are hurting (vs 13)
  • “my people” (followers of God) – “called by my name” (our public identity is that of being a Christ follower)
  • If Christ followers will become humble (opposite of pride), pray (not just words, but come to God as the source of all that is needed), seek God’s face (adopt his ways of thinking and behaving) and turn from wicked ways (old-fashioned repentance)
  • Then God will hear from heaven (think draw close to us in relationship), will forgive our sin (cleanse and purify us) and heal our land (restore productivity and health in every aspect).

The healing of our land is directly tied to the quality of our personal walk with God.  For our purposes here, the success and quality of your business as a Christian Business Owner is directly tied to the quality and intimacy of your walk with God.  If you’re living in private sin, God will not allow you to be as successful as you could be in the business He has entrusted to you.

Christians needs to take seriously our responsibility to repent of our sins and turn our attention to God.

If your business is struggling, then the first place to begin diagnosing the problem is on your knees before God.  Start there and let God transform the business He has given you.

Bill English

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